2 LATE 4 EVER !!!!!!!

So I was out walking my dog at about 11:30 at night, chatting with Bernard on my cell phone, watching fireflies and traffic and absentmindedly discussing production on the new songs, recording and touring schedules, whose couches we should sleep on, New Orleans vs. LA, vodka vs. tequila, kids vs. dogs, summer vs. fall etc….and he just as casually drops this particular bombshell:

He is engaged!


Yep. Bernie landed himself a woman (a bombshell!). So all you fine gals (and guys) with Bernie-on-the-Brain-itis have from now until the zany, madcap bachelor party we throw him, to sew him up some wild oats before it’s…


I’ve just read today that apparently, because he’s living in The Days of Jebus, Bernie now has the option of an “Intelligent Design” wedding ceremony (really – swear to you-know-who) as opposed to the standard – what? – Darwinian ceremony!? which mentions Evolution, ever-so frequently.

It should probably make me angry, hearing the word “intelligence” used to mean the lack of – and I feel for science teachers, school administrators and Christians who aren’t wacko, but I can’t help thinking that Intelligent Design as a theory is just a big, fat missed opportunity to synthesize solid science and spirituality.

How is there (relatively) so much space between our atoms? What’s the glue that holds them together – that keeps us from blowing apart? Will? A tendency to be? Intelligence? A guy on a cloud? Discuss.

I don’t understand why adaptation and intelligence are supposed to be mutually exclusive or, for that matter, why science and spirituality are. I’ve never understood how spirituality and religion ever got together in the first place. Seems like going to school for breathing: redundant and confusing.

Am I pontificating? About religion?! Oops. Sorry, Jebus.

Anyway, back on planet earth… We love you Bernie.

Congratu-ma-freakin’-lations. Happy forever, friend.


Posted in: words on August 26, 2005