Taking off this morning. We have packed 5 suitcases, 4 grocery bags full of, like, 20th century pemmican, 3 children, 2 dogs and some guitars. We are ready for every season and every possible occurrence. If there is a heat wave, we will be un-dressed appropriately. If we find ourselves in a blizzard, we will appear to blend with the locals. Frankly, we’re scared not to. Appearance seems to be a big deal when it comes to locals.
We drove across the country one summer when we all had shaved heads (August in New Orleans’ll make anybody reach for the razor) and people seemed to think we were a tiny cult. The kids wanted to play this up by only referring to each other as “Brother” and “Sister” but that’s because they’re not scared of anything (they say they got the idea from the Berenstain Bears — which they always thought was a little creepy). That whole trip, waitresses would drop our pancakes on the table and skitter away before we…I don’t know, recruited them I guess, and this worried us. We much prefer the safety of invisibility.
So we carry everything in the hope of nobody noticing us. Our enormous suitcases don’t seem to raise any eyebrows.
And we all have hair.